Before the Fall
by shonen-aigoddess
Summary: In his saddness believing his Yami doesn't love him, Ryou writes a suicide note and attempts to kill himself. will he succeed and will Bakura admit he loves Ryou before it's too late? oneshot


A/n: XD more tendershipping, YAY! It's ANGSTY though so watch out.

Before the Fall

Ryou closed his eyes for a moment as he picked up the paper he'd just finished writing. Opening his eyes slowly with a sigh he decided to read over it before he sealed it. It was a letter to his dark who'd recently been split from his body. It was a dark, dark night when Bakura came home. For some reason he thought his hold on Ryou would go with the new freedom over his body and to make sure that didn't happen had beatem him to within an inch of his life. He was still healing from the wounds almost a full week later. What he couldn't understand what had happened next. Bakura had carefully cleansed the wounds and dressed them, and held Ryou closely as he whispered almost comforting words. He'd said he was sorry and there was real regret in his voice. But what Bakura had been right about was that Ryou truly did have thoughts of freedom. But it wasn't the freedom Bakura was thinking of. It was freedom from the Pharaoh by fleeing to some distant part of the world together. He loved Bakura so much that he didn't care he'd hurt him and he so much wanted Bakura to love him too, but he'd figured out quickly that wasn't true. All those long candle lit nights and tender moments didn't seem to mean anything to Bakura. He looked down over the letter and began to read silently

_ Hurt me no more and let me go forever. Yami no Bakura...I love you so much but I know now that you only used me. I am ready to die now so this will be the last thing I will ever say to you. Better get it all out now. Two years ago I cheated on you with Yugi...but not that you probably care, just thought I'd tell you. Once I actually almost told my father about you...you were the best gift he's given to me and I wanted to thank him so much for you. Anyway, I think that's all I have to confess. Tonight at midnight I'm going to walk out into the ocean and drown myself. Truthfully I want you to come and save me but I understand if you'd rather see me dead. You could watch and then keep my body. You could do anything you want and I wouldn't be able to say no then. Not that I meant it when I said it anyway...that's just what you wanted to hear. You wanted to think you were hurting me so I let you. See I understand you more than you think I do. Secretly I have desires too. For the last time I am thinking the three little words I want you to say to me and I will go to my grave knowing you never will. But you know what. While I'm sinking into that black grave I'm going to cry as I imagine that You've said it so many times. I'm going to pretend that you actually loved me and that I wasn't a fool. I'm going to die pretending that you'll cry for me when I'm gone._

_ Forever More in Silence_

_ You're Broken Doll_

Yes this would do nicely. Just enough guilt to make him feel sorry, but cold enough that he wouldn't miss him too much. So he slipped the paper into his pocket and silently left.

He stood on the beach until he heard the bell ring. On the first stroke he took off his shirt...he needed something to protect the note. On the second he pulled out a dagger...in case he couldn't drown himself he would cut into his own heart. The third he crossed himself and prayed that he wouldn't be lost to the pits of hell where he thought he surely belonged. The fourth found him one step closer to the water. Fifth he was ankle deep. By the twelfth ring he was waist high and he took a deep breath, sinking below the crashing waves, still clinging to the dagger. But when he realized he was quickly losing conciousness he let go of it and smiled. This would be an easy death. He opened his mouth and let the salty water fill it. He swallowed a mouthfull trying to him his lungs give out and soon he was gone.

Ryou woke to the sound of heart moniters beeping all around him. He sat up sharply as a beautiful nurse walked into the room. "Is this heaven?" She gave him a glair. "No son, this is the Domino City Hospital. You're in the psychiatric ward and your father is throwing a tantrum because you're under lock and key." He gave her a confused look. "My father has been dead for six years." She sighed deeply but before she could speak they heard an irate voice in the hall. "I'm going in to see him damn it, don't tell me what the hell I'm not allowed to do!" And with that the door slammed open and Bakura stalked in. For a moment He was deathly still when he saw Ryou's beautiful eyes. "What...the _hell _do you think you're trying to prove? What do you want me to say to you?" He tossed the nurse out and shut the door. Ryou caught a glimps of fear in his eyes as he stared at the small figure in the bed. Tears came to Ryou's eyes. "That you love me! That's all I ever wanted you to say! You took me, you kissed me and held me...but never once did you say you loved me! I don't want to live if I'm just going to be used like that!" Bakura was so angry that he completely lost it. He dragged Ryou out of the bed and punched him in the stomach. "Hurt me no more? Did that hurt Ryou? Did it let you know you're alive? Well you know what else it tells you? It tells you that I lve you enough to be pissed that you tried to kill yourself!" He was sent into shock when Ryou slugged him back. "You don't hurt someone to show them you love them and you know damn well that's not the kind of hurt I was talking about." Suddenly Bakura began to laugh and Ryou blinked at him. "What the hell is so funny!" Bakura stared at him as he laughed. "You just chipped my tooth. You hit me Ryou. Do you know that's the first time you've defended yourself against me?" Ryou sank to his knees, finally feeling the sickness of being slugged in the stomach and began to shake. Bakura sighed deeply and knelt beside him, pulling him gently into his arms. "Ryou...I do love you...I just don't know how to say it right." Ryou looked up into his eyes, choking back tears. "Just say I love you and I'll be okay." Bakura brushed hair from Ryou's face so he could clearly look into his eyes. "I...love...you." Ryou let himself cry as hard as he felt like and clung to his dark. "Take me home now." Bakura nodded silently and carried him away.


End file.
